I think I’ve been chasing approval ever since I was a kid. And I think the whole blogging, photography, videography project I’ve had for the last 16 years has been a testament to that.
Those two first sentences might seem very dramatic and far from something that has anything to do with what I generally share on here. But hear me out, and I promise you’ll see it’s relevant to the whole content creation thing.
I’ve always wanted to be cool
You see I don’t mean chasing approval like the anxiety driven, self doubting behavior that can make one loose oneself totally. I mean that I have always wanted to be cool. And that’s maybe the lamest statement in the world. But it doesn’t make it less true.
However I’ve never been cool. I’ve always been concerned with following the rules, doing what’s right and not risky. I’ve never been able to just follow the crowd, but always spoken my truth, and never in a cool way.
I was the girl who thought snowboarding looked fun, thought myself how to ride, but never became the cool snowboarder. I would have loved to be part of the snowboarding crew, but I didn’t fit in with the rest of the lifestyle that “came with the package”. So I never was.
And when I discovered photography I so wanted to be one of the cool, outdoorsy lifestyle photographers that shot campaigns for brands I had been following for years. But I never told anyone, so I never went for it. I just kept awkwardly standing on a distance looking in at the cool kids, chasing their approval without them knowing. Or maybe even without me knowing.
Chasing approval is a bit silly
You see I’ve always thought of these things as a bit silly. People who are chasing someone else’s approval seem a bit silly right?
But if we weren’t chasing approval, would we ever tell each other stories around the fire? Would we share images or music or texts with each other? Maybe we would. Maybe it would happen from a place of wanting to connect, rather than from a place of chasing approval. I don’t know. But I don’t think that’s why I started blogging or sharing my images or videos online. I think I started because I wanted people to say; I think what you’re doing is really cool. I think you’re really cool.
Content creation has a really bad reputation. (Unless you’re making really artsy stuff. Then you’re brilliant.) I mean; who do you think you are sharing images with an unknown audience?
Thing is; chasing approval is a really natural thing. You see it among animals. If you’re accepted into the group, you’re safe. If you’re not, well then you’re on your own. And no-one really wants to be on their own. Doesn’t matter how introverted we are.
So should we just keep chasing approval then? Or is there another way?
Connection over approval
Well, I think I already touched upon it. Instead of seeking approval, let’s seek connection. If we turn away from approval and towards connection, it really doesn’t matter if the “right” people think what we’re doing is cool. It doesn’t matter if we have a large following or even a following at all. All that matters is that we’re able to connect. Over experiences, thoughts, art, music, nature, whatever. Connection is the goal, how you get there is up to you.
And I’ve found that the first person I needed to connect with was myself. When I did, I found that I was already the cool snowboarder (or now sit skier), outdoorsy lifestyle photographer, geeky Pokémon TCG player and embarrassing, millennial blogger. It’s always been here, just in a different package than I thought I needed to be cool.
So going forward with my photography, videography and blogging I’ll focus on connection. With myself, with my people, with you.
All the best,
Tonje
